Have you been running thin of patience? Just wanting to see the end. If you’ve been rocking this and relishing in all the together time I hear you, but it hasn’t all been rainbows and lollipops. Just a day when it all runs smoothly and there’s no fights and arguing. Wouldn’t that be a dream!
People thrive on community and connection and no more than our children who are used to being in a classroom filled with 24+ other bodies every day. Their energy bouncing around the room. Their playgrounds are closed,
and sports canceled. The joy in sharing jokes and running around with friends snatched away from them two months ago. They are over their siblings, parent-teachers who are so bossy and at their last tether.
Deep appreciation and gratitude to teachers even more so now. I have been thinking for the few years, what a task they have with all those students, marking, grading, setting homeworking, planning, and programming to a rigorous set of requirements.
This gig can be hard, and yes we can look on the bright side, we are fortunate we’re not sick, we have all of our essentials covered. However, there are only so many daily psychological stresses you can bear and your children can bear before it all becomes too much. You may know my expertise is in fitness so you’d think I’d be all over the PE requirements of homeschooling, well no… when I looked we were supposed to do 3 physical fitness tests each session about 40-50 minutes to complete from setting up. On Friday to break away from an argument with one child over English or Geography we got into the backyard to start with the PE. On top of the 3 fitness tests, there were also basketball drills and other activities. Plus a timetable to complete their daily schedule. Given that the kids only have one 30min session usually each week, my child was surprised at the amount of PE. So yep I felt like a failure, we could have done this. But you know what I am not going to beat myself up about it because fresh air and scooter rides down the road are even more important than ticking of worksheets.
I read today an article “How to stop Kids fighting” and it left me feeling really like I had no more answers, and this stuff is too fluffy to work in my house. Here’s the truth, each squabble or fight is going to be different and you need many many tools in your toolkit to work through them. I am going to share here some practical things I have done or turned to of late, in the hope they may help someone else.
Tool Kit Ideas for Flipping Mindsets:
- Let them sort it out themselves. Invaluable negotiation skills, and building emotional intelligence.
- Break it up and separate them. Physically I am not always able to do this, especially when a child is not agreeable to it, but when I can get them in separate spaces and let everyone breathe in their own space.
- Change of scenery – take them for a drive, take them outside to kick the ball.
- Hold them – just hold them in a loving way until their emotions can settle. Let them know you understand they are frustrated and talk through the scenario.
- Put Music on and start singing and dancing. Usually, I put on Spotify and make up a tune, or pick up the guitar (I can’t play) and just strum…. “Let it be” or something else pertaining to the situation.
This will put them in shock.
- Add water: Offer a drink, a bath or a swim (if the weather is right). Water play is always relaxing. If it’s a bath definitely add some essential oils to calm and relax, my favourite at the moment is Adaptiv, closely followed by Lavender Peace and Balance. Bath can be anytime of the day.
- Dab an essential oil onto necks and base of skull while midst meltdowns, or at onset. In the peak I go for Adaptiv, Vetiver or Balance. To start the school day – I love the children’s touch rollers, Thinker behind the years, Brave on the heart and wrists. Watching them breathe it in is just adorable everytime, as I can see them feeling the oily goodness coming into their bodies.
- At night time we have been popping on some peaceful meditation youtubes. Here’s one they enjoyed listening to: https://youtu.be/hxFDliXvm0s
- Pop on a relaxation yoga for kids. https://youtu.be/4ZpkRAcgws4
- Acts of Kindness ~ Who can I help today? Thinking of others, making a card or writing a letter. Be it to friends, grandparents or nearby age care home it will be greatly appreciated and provide a sense of a greater picture of the joy in helping others.
It’s also really important to ask yourself these questions when dealing with fights?
“What is triggering them? – Are they hungry, tired? Is there something going on emotionally – friendship struggles? Feelings of inadequacy? When did you last have one on one time with each of your children – doing something they enjoy?”
We can spend all day correcting, but how often are we giving praise and building them up? This is a big one for me. Each day I want my children to know they are loved, and how proud we are of them. And where possible give really specific examples of their value.
At the end of the day if their interest lays in how to build a beehive, just go with it. There are all types of learning. And if their engaged and keen well that’s a win. You know an added bonus my kids are loving their piano lessons even more than usual, the youngest has even requested 3 lessons per week…. unheard of.
Good luck, parenting is hard, there is no one rule fits all. Fortunately, there is some light at the end of the tunnel. After starting homeschooling on March 26, it is a blessing to see for the children their school routines will resume back sometime this May.
For your own sanity and to have a laugh at all things parenting – check out Netflex “Working Mums”. Get your own serenity diffusing with Balance and Citrus Bliss or Adaptiv and Spearmint perfect for a gorgeous day. And have a Patience roller on hand! Rembember Serenity = Lavender Peace.
Like to get your essential oil journey started or need a hand with what you’ve got? Reach out happy to help you! And if you have any suggestions on keeping your homelife calm please share, love hearing other’s ideas.